Childhood, Youth, Dependency: The Copenhagen Trilogy
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- Create Date：2021-03-26 14:12:22
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Tove Ditlevsen
- ISBN：0241457572
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Summary
Growing up in a working-class neighbourhood in Copenhagen， Tove feels that her childhood is made for a completely different girl。 As 'long， mysterious words begin to crawl across my soul'， she comes to understand that she has a vocation that will define her life。 Her path seems assured， but she has no idea of the struggles ahead - love affairs， wanted and unwanted pregnancies， artistic failure and destructive addiction。 As the years go by， the central tension of Tove's life comes into painful focus: the terrible lure of dependency， in all its forms， and the possibility of living freely and fearlessly - as an artist on her own terms。
Reviews
Patty Weiser
，
I gave the trilogy a five based on the first novel Youth which is a fantastic， beautiful， and stunningly written exploration of a childhood experience。 I’m glad I finished the other two parts but they didn’t live up to the first。 I’d give the middle section a four and the third a 3 1/2。
Beth Anne
，
Wow！ This book was excruciating and trainwreck wonderful。 This book was DEVASTATING。 I loved it， also it is completely sad。 But in a "I can't look away from these bad decisions and she writes about them so clearly and plainly I can't help but like her even as I'm worried about the bad choices she's making" way。 I enjoyed spending time inside her place in the world， even when I was concerned about her awful husbands and her interesting （and arguably terrible） choices。 Wow！ This book was excruciating and trainwreck wonderful。 This book was DEVASTATING。 I loved it， also it is completely sad。 But in a "I can't look away from these bad decisions and she writes about them so clearly and plainly I can't help but like her even as I'm worried about the bad choices she's making" way。 I enjoyed spending time inside her place in the world， even when I was concerned about her awful husbands and her interesting （and arguably terrible） choices。 。。。more
Cecile
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Unputdownable。
Ilse O'Brien
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Memoir or auto fiction？ I read this as if it were a true memoir。 Despite having any real parenting， plus poverty， gender discrimination， sexual harassment， it’s at once incredible and sad that Tove Ditlevsen persevered to become a renowned poet and author， while also making bad choices about her own personal well being and that of her family。 It did remind me of Ferrante’s Neapolitan novels， but this memoir was very eye-opening about Scandinavian culture and history。 I had the false impression t Memoir or auto fiction？ I read this as if it were a true memoir。 Despite having any real parenting， plus poverty， gender discrimination， sexual harassment， it’s at once incredible and sad that Tove Ditlevsen persevered to become a renowned poet and author， while also making bad choices about her own personal well being and that of her family。 It did remind me of Ferrante’s Neapolitan novels， but this memoir was very eye-opening about Scandinavian culture and history。 I had the false impression that Scandinavia had more progressive gender rights and social supports than the US。 But perhaps those are more recent developments。 And the time period here spans the 1930s through 1960s。 。。。more
Anne Sullivan
，
The first two sections， childhood and youth were so difficult for me to put down。 I love her writing and can see why when was such a beloved author in Denmark。 I'm not a big fan of poetry， so I'm glad this was her memoir and didn't require me to appreciate her poetry。 The third part of the trilogy， dependence， was so sad and given the pain of Ditlevsen's childhood it was not a total surprise。 Still， I had hoped for a happier adulthood。 The first two sections， childhood and youth were so difficult for me to put down。 I love her writing and can see why when was such a beloved author in Denmark。 I'm not a big fan of poetry， so I'm glad this was her memoir and didn't require me to appreciate her poetry。 The third part of the trilogy， dependence， was so sad and given the pain of Ditlevsen's childhood it was not a total surprise。 Still， I had hoped for a happier adulthood。 。。。more
gabrielle ✿
，
What an incredibly sad book。 When I started reading it， I was intellectually engaged。 A lot of my observations were about social conditions as Tove experienced them as an impoverished child during the twenties and thirties in Copenhagen。 I thought a lot about the ways families have changed， about the way we understand women and children and childrearing and parenting。 I thought about what was familiar and unfamiliar to me， as someone with a totally different life and background。 I thought about What an incredibly sad book。 When I started reading it， I was intellectually engaged。 A lot of my observations were about social conditions as Tove experienced them as an impoverished child during the twenties and thirties in Copenhagen。 I thought a lot about the ways families have changed， about the way we understand women and children and childrearing and parenting。 I thought about what was familiar and unfamiliar to me， as someone with a totally different life and background。 I thought about fictionalization， and the difficulty of weaving a narrative through your memories， and what are memoirs really， what can be a memoir even be but a way to explain oneself at the very same time as trying to understand oneself。 And from all that， an emotional understanding started to germinate， something I didn’t even notice until it had already blossomed， but something that made me relate intimately with Tove and to want to save her from the childhood and the adolescence she had。And then， she’s an adult， and she’s making mistakes， and she’s hurting others， and she’s hurting herself — and I don’t mean this in the way that you sometimes see life glossed over in self-care culture， where the pain is removed by a teleological rationale， where mistakes and hurting others are opportunities for growth and self-development。 Call this the “All mistakes are opportunities for learning” school of thought。 People in Dependency do not grow， they do not self-develop。 They’re trapped in the conditions adopted from the structures of their childhoods， of their infancies， of their adolescences。 They endlessly repeat the cycle， seemingly without intuiting that something different and better is possible。 They grow up in unhappy homes and they cheat on their partners， are cheated on， break up or divorce， marry again， cheat again， get pregnant， have children， have abortions， get pregnant again， and all the while， art plays surprisingly little role in this memoir of an artist。 What gave her an escape from reality as a child isn’t able to rescue her from the realities she creates as an adult， an inadequacy she reckons with when turning to drugs。 Demerol makes writing impossible for her， but it also does better what writing used to do: it takes her away， it creates a space inside herself to retreat， and that space is so much more enticing than reality that she almost dies trying to crawl away inside of it: “It took me a long time to make it back upstairs to my bed。 I left the light on， and I lay there， looking at my bony white hands， and I let my fingers move as if they were typing。 Then I had a clear thought for the first time in a long while。 If things get really bad， I thought， I’ll call Geert Jørgensen and tell him everything。 I wouldn’t do it just for the sake of my children， but also for the sake of the books I had yet to write。 Then time ceases to be relevant。 An hour could be a year， and a year could be an hour。 It all depends on how much is in the syringe。” What this book says is that we never really outgrow our childhoods。 We replicate them， like fractals， in increasingly complex ways and we become so accustomed to their patterns that we don’t even see them anymore。 If this sounds Freudian， there’s a reference to that too — a reviewer of one of Tove’s books says that she’s spent too much time reading Freud。 Tove cries and rebuts that she’s never read Freud at all。 From her book， it’s clear that she doesn’t need to — she understands childhood trauma enough without him。 In one of the most prominent chapters of Childhood， Tove writes “Childhood is long and narrow like a coffin， and you can’t get out of it on your own。” The truth is， according to Ditlevsen， that you won’t have much luck getting out of your childhood even with the help of others。 In the Copenhagen Trilogy， just like when people are laid to rest in coffins， you are buried in it。 Even your attempts to escape run the risk of making things worse and the best you can hope for is that you can learn to manage the darkness。 。。。more
Spenser Milo
，
So sad， so good。
Mary
，
Is Parul Sehgal ever wrong？There's a childlike precocity to the voice， dreamy and vulnerable， that's carried through not only CHILDHOOD but also YOUTH and DEPENDENCY to truly chilling effect。 The syntax and diction is so startlingly clear and simple and powerful。 These memoirs are very good。 Is Parul Sehgal ever wrong？There's a childlike precocity to the voice， dreamy and vulnerable， that's carried through not only CHILDHOOD but also YOUTH and DEPENDENCY to truly chilling effect。 The syntax and diction is so startlingly clear and simple and powerful。 These memoirs are very good。 。。。more
Luisa
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Do we think that women in the past have been （for the most time） submissive？ That all they did was stand in the kitchen to cook and nurture， to give all energy for a family and a stable home？ This image might be true in some parts （due to lack of opportunities and structural sexism）， but Tove Ditlevsen shows a different side。 Unapologetic women taking what they want， going after their dreams & goals， being sexual， being messy， being （in some form） "bohemian。" In short， behaving in a manner that Do we think that women in the past have been （for the most time） submissive？ That all they did was stand in the kitchen to cook and nurture， to give all energy for a family and a stable home？ This image might be true in some parts （due to lack of opportunities and structural sexism）， but Tove Ditlevsen shows a different side。 Unapologetic women taking what they want， going after their dreams & goals， being sexual， being messy， being （in some form） "bohemian。" In short， behaving in a manner that we might think of as masculine。 What blows my mind even more， is how Ditlevsen describes these desires&feelings&actions nonchalantly。 She just lived and let it happen， without fear of disregarding herself。 She also touches on another interesting topic: We know about early female/feminist writers， intellectuals， etc。 But most of them came from a bourgeois background。 What is with the working class women？ The ones who were supporting their family financially， who did not have the benefits of rich parents and leisure time？ Which aspirations did they have， which contribution to equality did they make （away from the limelight of academia and art）？ These issues have been set aside， not reflected thoroughly enough - yet。 And although the Copenhagen Trilogy was written quite a while ago， some things have not changed。 I look back to Tove's father sneering at， even bashing poetry as it brings no food on the table， no money in your pockets。 From tellings， I see a similar gesture in the downplay of academia-based work from people who come from working class families。 Next to all these thoughtful insights her biography bears， there is her prose， her writing that I devoured all at once。 That sucked me in like vacuum cleaner does to dirt， and there I lay within all the other dit， that sometimes I did not want to hear。 I did not want to experience her drug addiction， I did not want to read it。 But still， in parts she taught me: That's life， that happens。 You're in the situation， and that's the present。 Deal with it。 Live。 。。。more
Joel Buck
，
Builds to a fairly harrowing and abrupt conclusion。 I was halfway through it before I found out it's not （apparently？） meant to be nonfiction？ I suppose I'll do a deep dive to find out what I can about autofiction here sooner rather than later。 And then another one to find out just how much this strays from her own experience。 Don't all memoirists embellish to a certain extent？ I've certainly never met someone who'd write a memoir that I'd trust to give me the straight story。 I got off track。 Th Builds to a fairly harrowing and abrupt conclusion。 I was halfway through it before I found out it's not （apparently？） meant to be nonfiction？ I suppose I'll do a deep dive to find out what I can about autofiction here sooner rather than later。 And then another one to find out just how much this strays from her own experience。 Don't all memoirists embellish to a certain extent？ I've certainly never met someone who'd write a memoir that I'd trust to give me the straight story。 I got off track。 This was good， I love her frank and mostly unaffected style。 "The Copenhagen Trilogy" is a mouthful， so I'll henceforth only be referring to it as A Room Of One's Øwn。God help me if I ever get addicted to any serious substance。 This really was so alarming。 。。。more
Suzy
，
I felt like I was reading Tove’s diary， one written for her childhood living in poverty and knowing that life had a journey for her， taken out of school as a 14 year old to get a job in her youth， and finally her unhappy relationships with her husbands who let her down and finding addiction to drugs the euphoria she is looking for as an answer to her problems。
Jillian
，
A portrait of the poet as a young woman， and one of the most harrowing， dazzling， perfect memoirs I’ve read。
Julie Greene
，
Brilliant， dark， poetic， harrowing。 "Childhood is long and narrow like a coffin， and you can't get out of it on your own。" Actually， she says a few pages later， "you can't get out of it， and it clings to you like a bad smell。" And so we begin。 A difficult miserable childhood and youth are lightened only by the joys and ambitions of writing。 Then things really get wild in the final section on adulthood， as Ditlevsen enters into life-threatening addiction。 Although the memoir is dark， it is so bea Brilliant， dark， poetic， harrowing。 "Childhood is long and narrow like a coffin， and you can't get out of it on your own。" Actually， she says a few pages later， "you can't get out of it， and it clings to you like a bad smell。" And so we begin。 A difficult miserable childhood and youth are lightened only by the joys and ambitions of writing。 Then things really get wild in the final section on adulthood， as Ditlevsen enters into life-threatening addiction。 Although the memoir is dark， it is so beautifully written and insightful that it lifts you up。 I felt inspired， horrified， and awed by this woman's life。 。。。more
Rick
，
Very interesting trilogy， quite well-done - substance， writing， development。 I loved it till the last page or two。 Then I reflected that this may well have been how it really worked out for the author。 If so， bravo！
the overstuffed bookshelf
，
Thank you to NetGalley and Farrar， Straus， and Giroux for this copy of The Copenhagen Trilogy by Tove Ditlevsen。 To say that this is a good memoir would be a tremendous understatement。 This is one of the best memoirs that I have ever read， written in a style that reminds me distinctly of Karl Ove Knausgaard。 They are both Danish writers who seem to be able to write about their lives in a very interesting but matter-of-fact way。 The way that both Ditlevsen and Knausgaard manage to make the most m Thank you to NetGalley and Farrar， Straus， and Giroux for this copy of The Copenhagen Trilogy by Tove Ditlevsen。 To say that this is a good memoir would be a tremendous understatement。 This is one of the best memoirs that I have ever read， written in a style that reminds me distinctly of Karl Ove Knausgaard。 They are both Danish writers who seem to be able to write about their lives in a very interesting but matter-of-fact way。 The way that both Ditlevsen and Knausgaard manage to make the most mundane parts of a life interesting is astounding to me。 I have read pages and pages of the chronicles of their daily lives and am left wanting more。 Having never heard of Tove Ditlevsen prior to this book I was astonished to learn that she died in 1978 and The Copenhagen Trilogy has just recently been translated into English。 I am not sure how many more of her works have been translated into English but I hope that there are many more Tove Ditlevsen gems for me to discover。 I will certainly be on the lookout for them。 。。。more
Chris Brown
，
Clinical precision to the language; observant， objective as if she is reporting on someone else's experience and yet conveys the depth of her own emotions。 Harrowing， honest， real especially as she describes her addiction。 Have never felt the pull and struggle of opiate addiction this clearly before。 Clinical precision to the language; observant， objective as if she is reporting on someone else's experience and yet conveys the depth of her own emotions。 Harrowing， honest， real especially as she describes her addiction。 Have never felt the pull and struggle of opiate addiction this clearly before。 。。。more
Jane Eddy
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Shockingly honest。 Thank you Tove。
Kallie
，
Tove Ditlevsen was a rare being， a girl who knew what she wanted to do: write poetry。 This knowledge propelled her out of the milieu of poverty， of young， dead-end motherhood where her own mother lived and fantasized。 But perhaps at a price。 Often in this memoir Ditlevsen observes that she doesn't feel as she ought to about others。 It's as though her feelings are reserved for poetry and all else， people especially， experienced and seen almost scientifically。 She doesn't bother to make up reasons Tove Ditlevsen was a rare being， a girl who knew what she wanted to do: write poetry。 This knowledge propelled her out of the milieu of poverty， of young， dead-end motherhood where her own mother lived and fantasized。 But perhaps at a price。 Often in this memoir Ditlevsen observes that she doesn't feel as she ought to about others。 It's as though her feelings are reserved for poetry and all else， people especially， experienced and seen almost scientifically。 She doesn't bother to make up reasons or excuses for her years of drug addiction， though some would see a source in her childhood experiences of poverty and rejection。 Ditlevsen has no interest in melodrama， or making excuses for her own failings; she just recounts what happened with zero attempt to win our sympathy。 All her skill goes into evoking others， and her own honest reactions （or lack thereof） bringing others and herself onto the page in all their human， non-ideal peculiarity。 And that， we could say， is more honestly loving than any sentiment she might express。 。。。more
Brian Rangel
，
A good reminder of how drug addiction can happen to anyone and how easy it can be to enable an addict。 Her simple yet dry sentences only add to the feeling of existential dread that this artist embodies， especially in the latter half of it。
Julie
，
Kind of a deer in the headlights book- I could not turn away。 Ditlevsen pulls no punches in this autobiographical work。 She has children by different fathers; she marries simply for money and security; she becomes addicted to pain relief meds; all while becoming a world class poet。 Not for everyone。
Maria Tunney-south
，
Quietly absorbing。
Amit
，
This is a gem of an autobiography。 Raw and honest。 I picked it up on a whim， with no idea about the book or the author， having read none of her， or about her。 But in a few pages， I was drawn into her world， thanks to a brutally honest narration that spares no one， tries to whitewash nothing， and in the process gives a rare glimpse at the making of an artist。 Highly recommended。 One of the best autobiographies I've read。 This is a gem of an autobiography。 Raw and honest。 I picked it up on a whim， with no idea about the book or the author， having read none of her， or about her。 But in a few pages， I was drawn into her world， thanks to a brutally honest narration that spares no one， tries to whitewash nothing， and in the process gives a rare glimpse at the making of an artist。 Highly recommended。 One of the best autobiographies I've read。 。。。more
Brittany
，
💔
Jen
，
Maybe I should slow down on the memoirs because this one just don’t really grab me。 After I finished it， I read some reviews that compared this to Ferrante。 If I saw that， I might have skipped it。 But， I have to admit that I enjoyed the final section—Dependency。 That uncomfortable feeling I experienced was exactly right for that discussion。 Nicely done。
Emma
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Childhood 4/5， Youth 4/5 and Dependency 4。5/5
Zoran
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jebeno
Wendy Stepro
，
So much for the blissful existence of the Danes。The author puts a smack dab in the middle of her nightmarish existence。 Kept waiting for everything to turn out well…
Alisa Wilhelm
，
Something about this memoir was mesmerizing to me。 It was like a combination of a diary and the Neapolitan novels for the first two parts， and the last part was like a psychological thriller。 It was fascinating to read what life was like in Copenhagen during the 1940s， people’s attitudes about the war。 Tove’s life was gripping and heartbreaking。 Trigger warnings， though， for abortion and addiction。 She is quite frank and describes it in detail。Food pairing: a cheese danish and black coffee， hah Something about this memoir was mesmerizing to me。 It was like a combination of a diary and the Neapolitan novels for the first two parts， and the last part was like a psychological thriller。 It was fascinating to read what life was like in Copenhagen during the 1940s， people’s attitudes about the war。 Tove’s life was gripping and heartbreaking。 Trigger warnings， though， for abortion and addiction。 She is quite frank and describes it in detail。Food pairing: a cheese danish and black coffee， hah。 。。。more
Rebecca Schuh
，
ok the whole book is good。。。but let me tell you。。。。。the last 1/5 or so。。。。。A WILD RIDE
Linda Powell
，